Helping Kids Navigate Grief: Practical SEL Strategies for Parents and Teachers
- Give N' Grow
- Mar 13
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 14
As parents and educators, we often ask ourselves how we can raise children who are not only academically successful but emotionally resilient, compassionate, and capable of navigating life's ups and downs. One essential tool that can guide us in this journey is Social-Emotional Learning (SEL).
A recent podcast conversation with grief educator and informed-specialist Mary Brey, an educator with over 30 years of experience, sheds light on how SEL skills can be applied in supporting grieving children, promoting emotional awareness, and helping them process loss. Below, we’ll explore key takeaways from this discussion and provide research-backed insights to empower you in raising healthy, loving humans.
The Importance of Emotional Support in Grief
In our discussion, Mary emphasizes that one of the most significant things adults can do when supporting grieving children is to “be attuned” to their emotional needs. She explains, "Just to be there, just to hold that space." Grief, especially for children, can be isolating, and knowing that a parent, teacher, or caregiver is present—without judgment or a need to "fix" the situation—can provide tremendous comfort.
Mary also shared a powerful metaphor for understanding grief: “Grief is like a wave crashing over you”—sometimes, it comes unexpectedly, and it can knock you off balance, but it eventually subsides. This metaphor helps children understand that grief doesn't always have to be controlled or understood immediately; sometimes, it just needs to be acknowledged.
This approach aligns with findings from the Journal of Pediatric Psychology, which highlights the importance of acknowledging grief and emotional expression in children, rather than suppressing or denying it. Studies show that children who are encouraged to express their grief in healthy ways—whether through talking, drawing, or even play—are more likely to develop emotional resilience and experience fewer long-term psychological challenges.
Empowering Children Through SEL: The Power of Vulnerability
An inspiring point shared in the podcast is the idea that adults can model vulnerability in their own grief. Mary explains that it’s okay for parents to admit they’re not at the top of their parenting game during a time of loss. “It’s okay to grieve together,” she says. This helps children understand that it's normal to feel sadness and that it's acceptable to express emotions, even for the adults in their lives.
Research supports this idea, showing that emotional modeling from parents and caregivers is crucial for children’s emotional development. According to a study in Child Development, children learn emotional regulation by observing and interacting with adults. When parents and educators model healthy emotional expression and self-compassion, it teaches children that it’s okay to feel emotions deeply—and that it's part of being human.
The Small Wins: Celebrating Progress in Grief
When children are dealing with grief, even the smallest accomplishments can be monumental. Mary shared a helpful tip for supporting grieving children: celebrate the little wins. For example, if a child can get out of bed, brush their teeth, or send a text to a friend, that’s a huge step in their healing process. Recognizing and celebrating these small victories can build a child’s sense of self-worth and encourage them to keep going, even when the grief feels overwhelming.
This aligns with findings from positive psychology, which emphasizes the importance of small, positive steps in improving mental health. In fact, studies show that practicing gratitude and celebrating small victories can help children build emotional strength and a greater sense of hope. According to the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, focusing on small, achievable goals during challenging times is associated with lower levels of anxiety and depression.
Supporting Grieving Children with SEL Practices
As educators and parents, we can help grieving children by integrating SEL practices into their daily lives. Here are a few actionable tips to support grieving children:
Model Self-Compassion: Demonstrate self-care and give yourself grace. As Mary says, “You can’t fix it, but you can be there.” When children see adults taking care of their emotional well-being, they learn to do the same.
Create Emotional Check-Ins: Use simple tools like mood scales or journals to encourage children to express how they’re feeling. These tools help children identify and label their emotions, which is a critical step in developing emotional intelligence.
Validate Their Feelings: Let children know that whatever they are feeling is normal. “Grief is like a snowflake”—it looks different for everyone. There’s no “right” way to grieve, and it’s important to support children’s individual emotional processes.
Encourage Mindfulness Practices: Introducing simple mindfulness activities, like box breathing (deep breaths in a square pattern), can help children manage stress and calm their minds. This also supports emotional regulation, a key component of SEL.
Community Support: Grief Camps and Resources
Mary also mentioned the importance of community resources, such as grief camps, where both children and parents can find support. These camps provide children with a safe space to process their emotions while connecting with others who have experienced similar losses. Parents, too, can find solace in knowing they’re not alone in their journey.
Grief camps offer a unique, supportive environment where children can learn coping strategies, engage in creative expression, and find a sense of normalcy during a difficult time. According to the Journal of Loss and Trauma, these camps can provide a lasting positive impact, helping children build resilience and develop better emotional coping skills.
Conclusion: Raising Resilient, Emotionally Intelligent Children
As parents and educators, we have a profound impact on shaping how children navigate the emotional challenges of life. By incorporating SEL practices into our everyday interactions, we can help children develop the skills they need to process grief, manage emotions, and build lasting resilience. As Mary Brey so beautifully said, “Grief is a wave… but you don’t have to go through it alone.”
By modeling emotional honesty, validating children’s feelings, and using resources like grief camps, we can create a safe space for grieving children. And in doing so, we can raise the next generation of emotionally intelligent, loving, and resilient humans.
Further Reading and Resources:
Mary Brey's Free Resources and Teachers Pay Teachers Resources
Child Development Journal: Emotional modeling and its effects on children's emotional regulation.
American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine: Positive psychology and the importance of celebrating small wins.
Grief Camps: Explore local grief camps and support groups for both children and adults.
For more resources, check out the tools available from grief educators like Mary Brey, or connect with your local school counselors to learn about grief support programs in your area.