top of page
Search

Navigating Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) as a Parent: A Conversation with SEL Specialist Maike Hirst on Empowering Kids

Updated: Mar 3


In today’s fast-paced world, parents are often juggling multiple roles, from caregivers to educators, and everything in between. One of the most important responsibilities we hold is helping our children navigate their emotions and develop the skills necessary for strong relationships and personal growth.


A recent conversation with Maike Hirst, an SEL Specialist in Colorado and a passionate advocate for youth mental health, shed light on the importance of teaching children how to handle big feelings, resolve conflicts, and make responsible decisions. Here’s a deeper dive into what SEL is, how it benefits children, and some practical strategies parents can use to incorporate it into their daily lives.


Watch The Full Podcast Episode Here!


The Power of Social and Emotional Learning (SEL)


At its core, SEL is about teaching children the skills they need to understand and manage their emotions, relate to others, and make positive decisions. According to CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning), there are five key competencies that children should develop to thrive socially and emotionally:


  1. Self-Awareness: Understanding one's emotions and recognizing their impact.

  2. Self-Management: Effectively managing emotions and behaviors in various situations.

  3. Social Awareness: Demonstrating empathy and understanding towards others.

  4. Relationship Skills: Building and maintaining healthy relationships.

  5. Responsible Decision-Making: Making ethical, constructive choices.


These competencies form the foundation of a child's ability to succeed not just academically, but in relationships and life overall.


Teaching SEL: It Starts With Us as Parents


One of the most striking points shared by Maike is the importance of modeling SEL for our children. “If we’re not in it with them,” Maike explained, “then these kids are learning that they have a different expectation than their parent does.” This means that parents should practice what they preach. If we want our children to develop skills like empathy, patience, and self-regulation, we need to demonstrate these qualities ourselves.


For example, when facing moments of frustration, instead of bottling up emotions or reacting impulsively, parents can model the process of calming down. Maike shared a simple but powerful strategy for this: "If I'm frustrated, I announce it. I say, 'I’m frustrated right now, I’m going to take a break and come back when I feel better.'” By openly acknowledging emotions, children learn it’s okay to feel frustrated and that there are healthy ways to cope.


This process allows children to see that emotions don’t need to overwhelm them. They can take a step back, regulate, and return to the situation with a clearer mind.


Conflict Resolution: Teaching Kids to Work Through Disagreements


Children, particularly siblings or peers, often face conflicts, whether over toys, games, or misunderstandings. When this happens, instead of simply telling them to “stop fighting” or “just get along,” parents can introduce restorative conversation practices. One method Maike emphasized is the Peace Path, which helps children engage in conflict resolution by giving both parties the opportunity to speak and be heard.


Here’s how it works:


  • Step 1: Kids face each other and take turns using statements like “I feel... when...” For example, a child might say, “I feel hurt when you don’t let me play with the ball.”

  • Step 2: The other child can respond, “I feel frustrated when you’re not playing the game right.”

  • Step 3: Both children come up with actions they can take to move forward. For example, the child who was hurt might say, “I’m going to try to be more patient next time,” while the other might say, “I’ll try to include you more when I’m playing.”


This approach gives both children the space to express their feelings and take ownership of their actions, helping them build empathy and respect for one another. It also teaches them that conflicts don’t have to lead to division but can be opportunities for growth and understanding.



Practical Strategies for Parents: Managing Anger, Frustration, and Other Big Emotions


Whether at the dinner table or on the playground, kids experience moments of frustration and anger. One of the best ways to help them navigate these feelings is by using a simple technique Maike highlighted: Modeling emotional regulation. Here’s how parents can implement this in real life:


  • Step 1: Label your own emotions. For example, say, “I’m feeling frustrated right now because this situation isn’t going the way I expected.” This shows children that emotions are natural and can be recognized and managed.

  • Step 2: Practice a self-regulation strategy. You might take a deep breath, listen to a calming song, or step away for a short break. Announce it to your child: “I’m going to take a few minutes to calm down, then we can talk about this together.”

  • Step 3: Re-engage once you’ve calmed down. This allows you to approach the situation more effectively and helps the child see that it’s okay to step back, but it’s important to return with a clear mind to resolve the issue.


This approach works for all ages, including toddlers! Even at two years old, children begin to absorb the way we handle our own emotions and can start using those tools over time.


Recommended Resources for Parents


As you explore SEL and want to dive deeper, Maike shared some excellent resources to help parents better understand child development and how to incorporate SEL into daily life:


  • CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning): A great place to start learning about the five SEL competencies and how to apply them.

  • The Child Mind Institute: Offers valuable information on child development and emotional health.

  • Yardsticks: A helpful resource for understanding developmental milestones and how to support children at various stages.


Incorporating SEL into everyday parenting doesn’t need to be overwhelming. By staying consistent, modeling the behaviors we want to see, and teaching our kids healthy emotional regulation and conflict resolution skills, we can set them up for success.


Final Thoughts: The Ripple Effect of SEL


The most important thing parents can remember is that SEL is a lifelong journey. We are not expected to be perfect parents, and neither are our children expected to be perfect. The goal is to provide them with the tools they need to navigate life’s challenges and to teach them that struggles are part of growth.


As Maike put it, “We all have to take responsibility. And that’s the hard part, but also the part that really sets us up for success.” By nurturing these skills, we’re not only helping children manage their emotions and relationships today but preparing them for a future where they can be confident, compassionate, and resilient adults.


Want to learn more about SEL? Check out the Peace Path, CASEL’s resources, and other tools in our blog post to start integrating SEL strategies into your parenting toolkit.


Links to Resources:


Maike Hirst Contact Information

We Help Elementary Schools Meet SEL Goals With Movement, Music and Mindfulness Programs

Our virtual assembly has boosted the mental health of 60,000+ students and supported the SEL objectives of 80+ elementary schools nationwide. We'd love to collaborate with your school next!

bottom of page