Supporting Youth Athletes: Insights from Dr. Scott Goldman, Professional Sports Psychologist

Dr. Scott Goldman, consulting performance psychologist for the Golden State Warriors and many NFL, MLB and NBA professional athletes, kicked off the Youth Sports Psychology Series of The Give N' Grow Podcast with valuable insights into how parents and coaches can better support youth athletes.

Scott draws from his experiences working in both the clinical and athletic spaces to provide a framework that helps us understand how to use sports as a playground for personal development and social emotional learning while creating supportive environments for kids to thrive.

Full Podcast Episode with Consulting Performance Psychologist at Golden State Warriors. Tips for Parents and Youth Coaches for supporting young athletes.

Here’s a breakdown of the key topics covered in our conversation:

The Three "Playgrounds"

Scott identifies three key playgrounds that shape a young athlete's development: Mental Health, Optimization, and the Environment. These areas, that parents and coaches play a huge role in, are crucial to helping children grow in healthy, balanced ways both inside and outside of sports.

Mental Health and Wellness: Scott emphasizes the importance of recognizing how anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns can impact young athletes. These emotional struggles often go unnoticed, but they can have a significant influence on performance and overall happiness. For instance, the pressures of competition or the social dynamics within a team can exacerbate these challenges, making it crucial for parents and coaches to be aware of emotional struggles and provide the necessary support.

He notes:

"Mental health is such an integral part of being able to function as an athlete. It affects everything—from confidence on the field to how we interact with teammates and coaches."

Optimization and Self-Actualization: Scott discusses the importance of self-actualization, or "being the best you can be". He believes that developing this sense of capability is key for youth athletes, as it helps them face challenges, overcome setbacks, and keep improving. Rather than focusing solely on outcomes like winning, coaches and parents should focus on helping kids achieve personal growth and believe in their ability to improve through effort.

He shares:

“We need to nurture the belief that they are capable of getting better—whether it's through their own hard work, learning from mistakes, or pushing their limits.”

The Environment: Finally, Scott talks about the environment in which youth athletes practice and compete. This includes the social dynamics of the team, the supportive culture created by coaches, and even the broader influence of family and community. A positive, encouraging environment where athletes feel safe, respected, and valued can foster long-term success, while a negative or overly critical environment can lead to burnout or decreased motivation.

He points out:

“If we build environments where kids feel safe to express themselves and take risks, they’ll thrive. They’ll want to come back, they’ll want to get better, and they’ll be more resilient in the face of adversity.”

Unconditional Love in Youth Sports

Another powerful piece of advice that Scott shares is the importance of offering unconditional love and support to children. He emphasizes how often parents unintentionally undermine their child's growth by pairing love with criticism. For example, parents may say, “I love you, but you’re driving me crazy,” which tends to make children focus on the negative part of the statement. Scott encourages parents to say something like, “I love you, and I know you can do better,” to express both love and accountability.

He explains:

“I think that's something that parents right now are kind of struggling with… wanting to still hold children to a level of standards and accountability while still providing unconditional love.”

This balance between love and expectations can help children understand that their actions have consequences, and they can strive for excellence while still being supported emotionally.

Navigating Boundaries in Parenting

Scott also highlights how important it is for parents to set boundaries and maintain standards for their children, even when it's difficult. He uses an example of a child throwing a tantrum in a store and how society’s expectations often make it harder for parents to intervene effectively. He suggests that parents need to feel confident in holding their children accountable without fearing judgment.

He elaborates:

“Children's jobs are to push the threshold and the boundaries to know where they are. And our job as parents is to say, 'here’s the line of distinction. This is okay, this is not okay.'”

This tension between societal pressure and the need for discipline in parenting is something that parents must navigate, especially in today’s world where there’s a growing concern over being vilified for holding children to certain standards.

The Changing Nature of Youth Sports

One of the most thought-provoking moments in the conversation came when Scott reflected on a study from the NCAA that revealed participation in youth sports is an indicator of psychosocial wellbeing until kids are approximately 14-15 years old. That means youth sport participation correlates with positive outcomes like fewer instances of teen pregnancy and less substance abuse.

This shifts dramatically as children enter adolescence and participation in sports at around 15-16 actually becomes an indicator of maladaptive behaviors.

Scott emphasizes the need to be more mindful about how we support athletes as they transition into the high school and collegiate levels, especially in light of growing commercialization in youth sports. Scott wonders how the influx of money at the professional and collegiate levels, the rise of televised youth sports, and the pressures that go along with this shift might be affecting the way young athletes experience competition.

Scott suggests that this intensification of youth sports, from something child-led and free to something more structured and competitive, may lead to unintended consequences for children, especially as they hit adolescence.

The Balance of Celebrating Competition and Participation

The conversation took a deeper turn when Scott discussed how the pendulum in youth sports often swings between participation trophies and a hyper-competitive environment. He suggests that both have value, but an imbalance could lead to negative outcomes. On one hand, rewarding participation fosters inclusion, but on the other, a focus on competition can be important for developing resilience and learning to cope with failure.

He proposes:

“When the pendulum swings from participation... we lose resilience. And when things go too extreme on the competition side, we lose compassion.”

Scott believes the sweet spot is finding a way to value both participation and competition, helping children understand that failure is a part of growth and that winning is not everything, but it’s still something to celebrate.

Fostering Intrinsic Motivation in Youth Athletes

As the conversation delved into motivation, Scott shared an eye-opening study where children were given a puzzle that couldn't be completed in five minutes, yet they were incentivized differently. One group was rewarded for working on the puzzle for five minutes, while another group was simply encouraged to continue working on it for as long as they could. The children in the second group showed greater intrinsic motivation to continue working on the puzzle.

This study led Scott to reflect on how external rewards in sports (like money or recognition) may unintentionally undermine intrinsic motivation in young athletes.

He notes:

“Most children, when given a task, start to get intrinsically motivated, they’ll stay on the task for a pretty long time. Those that start to do it for an external reward, they tend to stop once they’re rewarded.”

Scott encourages creating environments that focus on self-improvement, personal growth, and exploration rather than extrinsic rewards, in order to foster a deeper connection to the sport itself.

Failure, Confidence, and Resilience

In a crucial moment of the conversation, Scott dives into the importance of helping children navigate failure while maintaining confidence. He acknowledges that losing is tough, but it’s an essential part of growth. He uses the analogy of a child learning to ride a bike: falling and getting back up is essential for building resilience. Coaches and parents can help by framing setbacks as learning opportunities rather than roadblocks.

He explains:

“Losing can also develop resilience… when the child falls and scrapes their knee, there is a moment in a dialogue where you say, this is what it’s gonna take to get back on the bicycle. And therein lies a muscle.”

Scott advocates for a holistic approach where children are supported emotionally while also being encouraged to grow through the challenges they face.

Creating Balanced Environments for Growth

Toward the end of the conversation, Scott emphasizes the importance of a balanced environment where children feel valued regardless of whether they win or lose, and where they learn to reflect on their experiences. He agrees with the idea of taking the team to Dairy Queen after a game, whether they win or lose, as a way to foster team bonding and self-reflection. This, in turn, helps children learn from both successes and failures in a supportive environment.

He concludes:

“Take your kids to Dairy Queen and while they’re eating ice cream, let’s revisit what went right and what went wrong and what we can do better.”

Final Thoughts

This conversation with Dr. Scott Goldman is a reminder of how complex and rewarding the task of supporting youth athletes can be. It requires finding a balance between love and discipline, fostering intrinsic motivation, and teaching kids how to deal with both success and failure in a healthy way.

Coaches and parents play a crucial role in this journey, and Scott’s insights provide a valuable framework for anyone involved in guiding young athletes toward personal growth and self-actualization.

For more on Scott’s work and to learn about how he helps athletes understand how they process the game, check out AIQ.team.